Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
Please make sure you read our rules before posting.
Rules:
Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
1: Treat all users with respect. [!]
The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.
2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]
Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.
3: All posts must be a request for advice.
All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.
4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.
Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.
Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.
Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
Reddit reposts are allowed.
As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
How are rules enforced and bans applied?
For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.
For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
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1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.
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2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.
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3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.
The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.
Exceptions:
While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.
Related communities:
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Adulting: [email protected]
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No Stupid Questions: [email protected]
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Mental Health [email protected]
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Could be, and there would be nothing wrong with that. But I wouldn't be posting about it if it were a one time thing. She does this often.
It could just be that she prefers a more relaxed downtime than you, where she doesn't have to constantly articulate thoughts. I'm like that a lot of the time.
This is most probably it. Another commenter pointed out they grew in a household where silence meant something is wrong. It was like that for me, too. Grew up in a fun household :)
Communication is paramount in a healthy relationship.
It sounds like your girlfriend is not a morning person. She needs to be left alone in the AM to get the coffee in and "wake up". For some people, "wake up" can take a few hours. Your girlfriend needed to convey that to you, not shut you down. And frankly that is a conversation all couples need to have early on with each other. This way both partners can respect the other to prevent fights and misunderstandings.
Since she in not telling you this, maybe ask her about it during a time when she is fully recharged and willing to talk. Scrolling away on her phone obviously made you feel ignored and the silence added to that discomfort. Convey that in a way that let's her understand that you just wanted to enjoy her company during a really nice moment together.
And about the kids... do you both agree on the children issue? Or do one of you want them and the other does not. That might have been part of the shutdown if that's the case. Just a guess on my part.