this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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I've had a similar experience with online dating - chatting with people, then went on multiple dates where it became obvious they didn't actually want a relationship (although I was quite open about the fact that I did) or they were just not a good match for me. I agree with a comment higher as well about the 'spark' thing as I was realising I just wasn't feeling that with any of them. I've had people say before that they were just on them for validation rather than having any intent on dating.
That said, I actually deleted Hinge about a month ago as I was just kinda sick of it and one of the people I'd been on a date with prior (who I actually did have a spark for but the date was just a bit odd as we hadn't quite 'clicked' with our interaction styles yet and I suck at actually flirting) wanted to catch up again. We've been dating exclusively for over a month now.
I'll agree with your comment about the disparity as we joked about our online dating experiences - she'd been on some 20-30 dates and in even more conversations with guys after being on it for 4 weeks. I had been on 5 dates and 12-odd chats in 6 months and a lot of those chats just ended up going nowhere when you ask engaging questions and get either absolutely nothing or single word replies.