this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
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I just came to know of a woman who was raped. i.e., not on TV but in real life, I saw her sobbing face. I didn't have a clue what to do. I believe the right thing to tell her would have been to say, go to the police right now and give a rape exam, this would at least make sure there is a small chance that the scumbags who committed the crime would be caught for good.

Now, I didn't muster up enough courage to do it. Instead I thought "Well, why should I care about her? I am pretty sure lots of women get raped every day, why should I care about her? I am late for something and I should get going" and I did get going. Moreover, she was swarmed by a ton of women consoling her and I doubt if she wanted to talk to man right now. And moreover, I can't imagine it being an easy job to convince her to do anything in that stage. So, I just left her be to the mercy of women gathered there and I just came to know that the good rowdies of the street offered the woman to freshen up at their house, thus most likely erasing all trace of the crime from her body. Now, their mothers and sisters live there and I made sure that she left their bloody house (i.e., Ik, I didn't drag her out) because I think the rowdies of the street are beyond doing the horrible act themselves.

But yeah, I did a morally reprehensible thing where one needed moral courage, just because I didn't want to do the hard work and sacrifice my own time for the betterment of an other.

  1. And the man/men who committed that act on her, did it most probably because they were resentful and they liked doing it. So, how does one decide what is moral and immoral?

I did it because I liked it doesn't really to seem to have worked out in this situation. I didn't do it because I didn't like it (i.e., me) doesn't seem to be a stellar option either.


This didn't happen but,

Bonus question: If that victim was say standing on a train line here, what should one do? What should a man do? Should he make sure to use his force to remove her from the spot and thus "saving her" but in the process exerting control and taking away the one act of free will she has done since the horrible incident? Who says saving her is the "right" thing to do?


Again, putting myself as the first priority, I am not going to reply until I am free.


These issues need to be probed much deeper than a post on lemmy, so are there any books on moral questions relating to what I am asking here which you know of, in which case please mention it.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

As someone whose done a lot of bad in their life, morality is about survival and not having to spend the latter half of your life in constant regret over every time you let your core values slip and gotten someone hurt because of it. Doing bad things puts you in company of people who do bad things, and often put your life in jeopardy. Standing up for what you believe in regardless of the consequences is the right thing to do, even though it might really hurt at times. I don't use an external source of morality, but rather consider the impacts of my actions. If you can't justify why you should or shouldn't do something you need to look into why that's the case and be ready for an answer you don't want to hear. That's how you grow.

Ultimately, you should decide a set of core beliefs and CONSTANTLY challenge them for contradictions. You're going to be wrong on some of them, last thing you need is to deathspiral into a world that doesn't make sense just to protect something that never really applied to you anyway. My advice is not to hurt people because hurt people hurt people and by proximity, it's going to be you.

In summary there's not really "right" or "wrong" so much as "does this contradict with who I am as a person"