this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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As a recovering heroin addict, I wholeheartedly believe his story. His later stories contained some region-specific drug slang and his post-recovery updates were the perfect amount of mundane and specific for me to recognize exactly the same feelings in myself.
Side note: if you're watching a movie or TV show, one thing that non-junkie writers never get right is withdrawal. They often show characters skipping withdrawal entirely, or show them mildly sick but still moving through the story without any real issues. Worst case, they'll show a character being sick and then totally fine after a short time. Huge pet peeve of mine. Really undersells the catch-22 you find yourself in when using heroin.
What withdrawal is actually like is pure, unadulterated misery and suffering for two weeks at minimum, followed by months or even a year of exhaustion, depression, suicidal thoughts, restlessness, and feeling like everything is weird and new. It feels like you're a reptile that just shed its skin and everything is raw including your emotions and thoughts. Those first two weeks are just nonstop puking, shaking, sweating, an uncontrollable urge to kick and jerk your body, total insomnia, scary and suicidal thoughts, full body aches and pains, and enough self-loathing to last a thousand years.
I made it three months cold turkey once before relapsing. Fucking never again. I honestly don't know how people quit dope before modern medications like Buprenorphine and Methadone.
Feeling like you want to break the cycle of addiction but knowing you can't get through the withdrawal is an incredibly scary and traumatic experience.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Yeah. That was an interesting read.
Have you watched Euphoria? I've never had experience with drugs like that but I feel it's got representation of addiction and withdrawals. Some recovering addicts say it spoke to them and others say they can't watch it because it's too triggering, so I'd totally understand if you haven't seen it. The special Rue episode in between the two seasons is spectacular at showing a recovering addict trying to talk sense into a struggling one.