this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
147 points (79.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43766 readers
1616 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think I know what he means. It's perfectly acceptable to just use him or her for 99.999% of people, and if you just so happen to meet one of the 0.001% of people that goes out of their way to draw attention to themselves by being offended, they're probably not worth wasting oxygen on lol
Between those statements and so much concern about seeming "woke", I don't think they're only worried about the "0.001%" here.
Yeah true, but if you start a conversation with "my pronouns are...", the vast majority of people will assume you're incredibly self-centred, let's be honest here. Not a great way to start a conversation
So we've gone from "0.001% get offended about pronouns" to "It's self centered (ie 'wrong') to introduce yourself with pronouns." Maybe just let people engage with the world in the way that best suits them? Sometimes that includes prefacing an introduction with pronouns to head off any mistakes or discomfort. These people are just trying to get by. Try not to be so judgemental.
While I personally wouldn't go as far as to call people self-centered, I do think Mr Blott has a point, a lot of people may think they are self-centered for immediately declaring their pronouns (or anything else other than your name for that matter).
Anyway, that wasn't what I was trying to say. All I wanted to say is that I don't think that announcing your pronouns is something that will be or should be normalized, since it's pointless for the vast majority of people. I do understand why some people would prefer to do this anyway to avoid the awkward situations like "ahem, actually it's... euuh... he, not she", and I don't have a problem with that.
You both very clearly do. Stuff like calling things pointless and ridiculous, advocating for the "vast majority" or "99.999%" of people? That only serves to isolate and "other"ize. It's hurtful and dismissive of real people. Following it up with "but people can do what they want" doesn't erase what you say. Might as well start it off with "No offense, but..."
If you are truly trying to be kind and accepting here, maybe take some time to self reflect on how you view and talk about these things and what's behind that.
I think all we've learnt from this is that Ech announces his pronouns at the beginning of conversations then wonders why the conversation was so short
Why do you spend your days imagining elaborate made-up pronoun conversations? Are you one of those freaks that hate trans people but jerk it to trans porn?
"Look at this person advocating for kindness. Bet no one wants to talk to them, am I right?"
What a low-tier, middle school level attempt at bullying.