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For me, it’s a special event kind of thing. Birthday, anniversary, special date night, that kind of thing.

I’ve been in (briefly) uniformed and non uniformed government service for much of my career, either working directly for the government or on a contract. I’ve also spent a lot of time in research and academia, writing papers and teaching people. I wasn’t making a ton of money, but I was doing well by most standards. After having some experiences in countries I would not recommend on TripAdvisor, I decided to go do something else with what remains of my career. I found some people who needed some math done in a field where I’m pretty qualified, and they agreed to pay me pretty well for it. I don’t ascribe it to anything but luck and a bit of stubbornness. I really could have ended up anywhere between face down in the sand or a clerk at the quick stop given a different outcome of some rolls of the dice.

I’m not “I got in on an IPO” rich, but I can fly my 85 year old mom out and take her out to dinner and drop $2000 on it so that she knows her not exactly neurotypical or heteronormative kid is doing more than okay still. I’m not eating white rhinoceros flank steak covered in gold leaf with Elon Musk, but I can hit up the occasional Michelin restaurant. I’m bitter enough to indulge in that.

I also donate money to places like the ACLU, EFF, Planned Parenthood, the Trevor Foundation, and my local LGBT community center. I make political donations to left wing candidates, and I’m old enough to remember Paul Wellstone and have met Bernie Sanders (who helped a project I was working on get funding).

I still don’t consider this a meritocracy. Its more of a “if you happen to know someone who wants you to do things for them and it’s a rare skill, you might be able to do okay for yourself and your family.”