Asklemmy

43965 readers

1739 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

147

Is it wrong for 25M to date 19F? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by MTK to c/[email protected]

146 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.

I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I'm over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.

The thing is, she seems really mature but I can't put aside the age gap.

Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn't healthy for me or her?

Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?

Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)

Thank you everyone!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] MTK 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you!

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

As for what other people may think, the "half your age + 7" rule is pretty consistent

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Half-age-plus-seven-relationship-rule.svg

But yea you guys will know the situation best. Communicate well :)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only problem with the chart is that it doesn't account for stuff like independence. If a 19 year old has a stable job and is living on their own I would be a lot more forgiving than if the 19 year old was still in college and living with their parent.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Also a 19 year old who never dated vs. a 19 year old who dated a few different people already.

Relationship experience is important to help us be safe in our relationships…