this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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Risa
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Star Trek memes and shitposts
Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.
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Genesis was worse, but they’re both so far off the rails that I really can’t let either one go. I’m a theoretical biologist, but I can watch ST and say “Oh, a sub space spore network? Cool! I hope he can make things work out with his doctor-boyfriend.” Paul Stamets, the Disco mycologist, is actually named after the real-life Paul Stamets, mycologist.
One of the things that I found really helpful to learn was that George Romero showed that you don’t need to tell them where zombies come from. Leave it up to the hard SF people to worry about what aliens might actually be like. It’s accepted in science fiction from Star Wars to the Roswell conspiracies that aliens are hominids. They might be squid-people or lizard-people, but aside from Douglas Adams and his hyperintelligent shade of blue, they all look like some kind of terrestrial life.
I’m just saying that if you’re playing a bit fast and loose with the science part of your science fiction, you’re better off with “This is a Klingon. The Klingon says ‘Grrrr!’”
You can get all interesting about the Changlings living in the ultimate retirement home of Lake Havasu (I might be getting mixed up - I just rewatched Falling Down), but that’s more social than biological and they don’t need to get more into it than that.
Well if you're an expert in a field, then you necessarily have a problem with fiction unless it's some ultra hard sci-fi. The whole concept of FTL travel is generally believed to be impossible for example, so imagine how the entirety of ST has to seem to an astrophysicist.
There's always a line where "imagine if..." turns into "ok this is just a complete lie", but the line is both fine and blurry, and somewhere else for everyone. I think the progenitors fall into the same category as warp drive - bonkers, but you can see where the general idea comes from, and with some headcanon or handwaving you can make it fit at least enough to work in a coherent universe.
At least I'm not a fan of letting too many fundamental concepts be "just roll with it". Still waiting for explanations on how universal translators work that they make lipsyncing perfect, or a decent theory of artificial gravity.
But anyway. How would you explain why so many aliens look so similar? In-universe, obviously.
What I don’t know is why the universal translators don’t work when they want the Klingon to speak Klingon. I figured the lip-sync is from the neural interface link that works like a tiktok filter.
But that’s a good question. How could we explain the embarrassing excess of hominids in science fiction?
Okay - my argument as to why it’s ridiculous hinges on what we’ve seen in earth evolution. Four limbs evolved (we think) exactly once. Hominids once. Human intelligence once. Compare that to things like eyes, flying, swimming, tapered bodies, and so on. I expect, were we ever to find alien life, they might well have some of those properties.
But — What if the scarcity of intelligent hominids on earth was just an artifact, and in fact developing four limbs, running around, and eventually getting a hands and standing up was like eyes on almost every other planet? Our evolutionary history made it, via bad luck, that it only evolved once here. Across every other life-bearing planet, though, it’s as eyes? All of the planets’ ecosystems are teeming with monkey-like creatures. Lizard monkeys. Amphibian monkeys. Spider monkeys. Wait - scratch that last one. Anyway, I’ll leave the explaining why we don’t see all those monkey-aliens to someone else.
For my second opinion, I offer the following filk song:
(Tune: Yellow Rose of Texas )
Well, that glob of nose latex-is The only way, you see To keep down on the budget On Ess Tee: Tee Enn Gee
We blew a million dollars On starship flats and sets So a small glob of latex-is As good as the ail-yuns gets.
CHORUS:
She's the sweetest little alien That Starfleet ever knew Her ears have rubber tips on Held on with Elmer's Glue
We're tops at doing phaser shots And spaceship warp effects But the al-yuns' look latex-is With some wattles on their necks.
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK
So a wad of brown latex-is On the brow of Mr. Worf Anything more complicated Make-up folks call it too torf
With a nose brow for Bajorans Bulgy head for Fer-en-gi A little wad of latex-is The only thing we'll see...
Well we see on VOY that dinosaurs eventually evolve into that form too.
Hmmm I dunno. It's an interesting thought, but somehow feels less believable, even contrived, especially in combination with needing humanoids for actors.
I mean, say we discover aliens irl, like lots of them. If they all look like humans, then I think a lot more people are rather gonna take it as a sign of intelligent design. While some others will say that Trek predicted it.
Um, claps for the song, but I can't appreciate that properly. Best make a new post out of that.