this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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Relationship Advice

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https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/3297580

Well idk how to feel rn. I wrote her a handwritten letter and gave her 24 hours to either come over and have a follow up conversation or I'll assume we're over. (Had no intention of a break up)

Rn I'm in bed and she's asleep next to me. We had a good conversation, we both apologised. I'm considering aaking my ex to delete the videos with me off the internet. No my gf didnt ask this of me and I didnt offee either, I might just do this myself, (I like my online privacy and dont have any social media account outside of this anyways).

I did a tonne of reassuring which I think did well. In person and in the letter. Promises were made on both ends.

Now for the bad part and I cannot believe Im putting this online, we just had the most disturbing sex ever. It would be normal in any other circumstance but for the fact that it was almost entirely what the video wth my ex was. This would still not be weird perhaps if there weren't things we had never done before together.

So its new stuff and exactly what was in the video. This was creepy, was it not?? Maybe she thinks it's things I like is my current assumption but idk. It's been a while and my thoughts are rather scattered atm.

  • What was the point of this?
  • Do I bring this up?
  • How do I bring this up?
  • What do I even complain about here?
  • Is she actually fine now or is there still an issue?

Ps. Thank you for everyones takes on the first post. For anyone saying we're to immature to be in a relationship, we might be immature but we wanna grow together and see where this takes us. Hopefully this is a forever kinda thing.

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[–] someguy3 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Hey this is great news.

Is she actually fine now or is there still an issue?

Ok. This is the start of your communication. I think she wanted to "claim" those acts with you. So no she is not fine where you can continue on without addressing it more. I this is the start of communicating about sex, your relationship, and yes the act of copying sex acts. Don't push it, let things settle, but open the conversation about what you're both into and why. I say give it awhile to let her bring it up, but if she doesn't I think you should in maybe a month. It's much healthier to discuss than to not, but this is a delicate topic.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Thank you, I like this take. I'll let her start the next conversation.