this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2023
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Relationship Advice

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I am my gfs first partner, she is my second. The girl I dated prior (for 6 months) was a vlogger and for like 3 months made a lotta relationship and prank videos wth me which I was fine with at the time. Now my current gf is my first ever real crush and Ive been into her for a decade.

So my gf stalked my ex somehow, idk how consodering Im not on social media myself (this account is the literal exception). She then asked a LOT of questions about my ex, I dodged just about every question. After that she just pulled away and was distant and would barely talk to me or meet up. She finally told me she found my ex's yt channel and watched every single thing on there.

Now I think Ive been VERY understanding and comforting to her, reassuring her literally every day since, being very loving and romantic to the point of cringing myself out. But she never really got over what she saw, idk if she rewatched that stuff or not but it was def smth thats always been in the back of her mind. She also knows that I broke up with my ex since I was moving countries and not bc the relationship was bad.

Now for the terrible part, smth i truly did not remember was that me and my ex had made a more personal video which was still saved somewhere on my laptop. I absolutely did not know of this and if I did I woulda gotten rid of it. Now my gf has access to my laptop (with my approval ofc) and she somehow stumbled upon it, I caught her curled up in my bed absolutely bawling her eyes out with the video playing on my desk. I have never felt this disgusting.

This is the first time my gf has denied my hug for comfort or just been so repulsed by me, she wont touch me while i explained everything, I deleted said video infront of her and begged her for a week. First she told me she needed to think things over but knowing her she wanted me chasing and I did just that, second week Ive given her space and theres been no change. We have had 2 dry 5 min convos in the last week.

How do I fix this or make it upto her???

Tl;dr: Gf found an old personal video involving an ex and wont talk to me anymore.

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[–] 0Empty0 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Your girlfriend "stalked" your ex and watched all of her YouTube videos?

Do you think that's a bit much?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

"How do I win her back?!"

Lol

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Depends how many videos and how often the guy was in them. Plus how long their relationship was. It's not crazy to be curious to see what things your SO likes in another person.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I was in the videos for about 3-4 months, id say 10-15 videos. She had the channel from before that. Issue is they were relationshipy videos, like a viral tiktok "prank" was just kissing your partner all day and she did that and put 10 mins of us just making out online. My gf 100% hated that, but also why watch it then???

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

My gf 100% hated that, but also why watch it then???

I'm glad that you're asking yourself this question.

Unfortunately, the answer is something like: She was looking for something to use against you.

That in itself is not healthy behaviour, but what makes it even worse is that once she found it, she went snooping through your laptop and found something else to weaponise against you.