Bipolar Disorder

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This is a safe place to discuss, vent, and share information about bipolar disorder. It is also a place for peer support and comfort.

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If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call a friend, family member, 988 in the US, or find transportation to your closest emergency room (call 911 in the US).
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Trying not to implode my life. (self.bipolardisorder)

submitted 2 years ago by anakin78z to c/bipolardisorder

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BP2. I've been in a depressive episode for almost 2 weeks now and I just can't fucking deal right now. I run my own business and I'm ready to fire one client and to tell another to take their project elsewhere. I know, I KNOW I should not be making decisions like this in this state, but I just can't handle it anymore. I basically quit in the middle of a meeting this morning because I couldn't handle another pedantic fucking conversation, and now everyone is messaging me asking if I'm OK, and I'm not. And there's really fun work that I should be focusing on, but I'm too preoccupied with the crap stuff, and I only have like 1/10th of the energy I should have, anyway, so I can barely muster the energy to just exist.

Thanks for reading. Maybe tell me to not screw up my life right now. Or tell me to go for it. I'm good either way.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Have you gotten medical treatment?

[–] anakin78z 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No. I've got regular therapy, but no medication. I worked with a psychiatrist about a year ago, but the first medication gave me a reaction, and he didn't want to try any other ones. I talked to a different psychiatrist who also thought any side effects would be worse for me than whatever good the meds would do. So yea, not much I can do other than ride the episodes out.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If you have BP then it makes zero sense to not be medicated.

[–] anakin78z 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yea, well, that's the boat I'm in.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Maybe they don’t think you are BP or depressed.

[–] anakin78z 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I was diagnosed. I think you need to get away from the idea that medications just work for everyone. If that were so we'd just have one medication and we'd all be happy. If your meds are working for you, that's awesome. Keep going. I'm envious.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I recommend you reconsider the idea that one medication not working means that all medications aren’t worth trying ;).

[–] anakin78z 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sorry, are you a medical doctor? Because I am taking the recommendation of 2 of them. If you are, I'd love to hear more. If you're not, then I think we're done here.