this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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This carries "Just don't be sad bro" energy
While yes, being physically fit is a good thing generally. Going outside especially within the US just makes me feel worse. Everyone is just as miserable as me, it's too hot, it smells like smoke and gas, I can't hear shit because the 4 lane road's noise is deafening, and those who aren't miserable are blissfully ignorant towards the horrible shit people go through in a country that doesn't give a shit about them.
I've managed to disconnect more, work on my hobbies, and find the will to live. My diet in improving and my fitness is also improving, but I just fucking hate the place I live and do not have the means to pick up and leave. The MOMENT I look into it I'm berated with product after product, and expense after expense. We as a society have cultivated an unsustainable model of operation and it's finally falling apart. Like the oil fields, we too are being sucked dry.
I wish I could be ignorant. But I just can't bring myself to that point.
I mean, I'm simplifying it for me, but I realized at one point I'm just tired of being tired. Doesn't have to be physical activity, but it's really just finding your niche and not getting into your head too much. Easier said than done, but I really just woke up one day and decided that change is only going to come if I force myself to get up and do something. Otherwise I just get depressed and all "woe is me, woe is the world". If life sucks anyways, I'm going to find ways to enjoy it my own way.
I hate to break it to people but when it came full circle to me, it became as easy as "I'm a depressed right now, well I don't want to be so I'm going to put a little effort into something. That way, I can at least be proud of myself if not the world".
I can keep complaining about the world, or I can toughen myself up for myself and be proud of the person I am. I wouldn't call it ignorance to the rest of the world, I just don't give a fuck anymore. It never gave a fuck about me in the first place. I'm doing it all for myself.
This is dangerously close to telling people that are depressed go pull themselves up by their boot straps like you did.
Eventually you have to. It sucks, I get it. But if you're not going to do it for yourself, no one else will. If you need help, you have to make that first phone call to the therapist yourself. Otherwise you can easily get stuck in the comfortable spiral of depression.