this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
419 points (96.9% liked)

internet funeral

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤart of the internet

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Nah, gotta spice it up a bit more with some fancy bullshit wording.

1997-1998: Started existence and gained motor functioning skills.

1998-2001: Increased fine motor skills and started learning a language.

2002-2014: Pursued Higher education to learn how to be most beneficial to the workforce.

2015: Became an Executive Financial Handler. Job included bridging the gap between Customers and Company to achieve mutual benefit.

2015: After mastering financial connections, began learning the finer arts of Bread and Pastery development to bring joy to the local orphanages.

2015-2019: Was contracted into the private sector to perform highly confidential work. Unfortunately, details cannot be shared.

2020: Ready to start a new career for a great company using all previously mastered skills. The diversity of knowledge makes for an extremely valuable team member.