this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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internet funeral
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Nah, gotta spice it up a bit more with some fancy bullshit wording.
1997-1998: Started existence and gained motor functioning skills.
1998-2001: Increased fine motor skills and started learning a language.
2002-2014: Pursued Higher education to learn how to be most beneficial to the workforce.
2015: Became an Executive Financial Handler. Job included bridging the gap between Customers and Company to achieve mutual benefit.
2015: After mastering financial connections, began learning the finer arts of Bread and Pastery development to bring joy to the local orphanages.
2015-2019: Was contracted into the private sector to perform highly confidential work. Unfortunately, details cannot be shared.
2020: Ready to start a new career for a great company using all previously mastered skills. The diversity of knowledge makes for an extremely valuable team member.