this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2023
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Uhhh, I'm a Xennial and this hits hard. I am basically paying for her mortgage with the amount of money I have to give my ex every month. She has always had zero ambition, so I was always getting raises, and by the time we split, our finances were in two very different places, so the court said I have the luxury of paying her monthly just to be rid of her.
You got screwed then if you're in the usa, spousal alimony is basically non-existent. Most states don't have it anymore and those that do have it for about a year.
I'm well aware of how screwed I got... I'm hoping that in the next year or so I'll be able to re-litigate with a different lawyer. I was so desperate to get out of that marriage, I took some bad advice.
My biggest problem is that my life hasn't been the most stable since I left her. The sick amount of money I have to give her every month certainly hasn't helped.
Does she work? What state are you in? You shouldn't be paying her at all really. Alimony has really lost its teeth in the last 10 years.
I got screwed too, because we have a child. If he has one, he is screwed until the kid finishes college or is 25 yo.
He also pays in full even if he has 50% custody. Here in america, woman good man bad.
Certainly it sounds like you’re bad.
It’s your kid, why shouldn’t you be happily paying for his or her life?
Lol, first of all, you are making quite a number of assumptions there.
Let's turn that around, and see how it sounds....
"It certainly sounds like she's bad. It's her kid, why shouldn't she be happy paying for his or her life?"
Here is a little factoid for you. When a woman commits purjury or contempt of court, it's overlooked.
When custody is split 50/50, Child support payments are not adjusted to match that reality.
Men have no problem with paying to support their children. They have a problem with carrying 90% of the burden.
They have a problem being unable to save for retirement, a home, or their children's education because huge sums of money is going to the ex, who somehow is able to buy a house, go through multiple new cars, and take overseas vacations - on (apparently) less income.
The courts seek to equalize incomes well after divorce. That means a woman with multiple masters degrees and certifications who mysteriously can't make any money with that, gets her ex husband's hard earned pay to compensate her for her failings.
Meanwhile, when men are unable to pay that money, they sometimes go to jail. Health insurance payouts are redirected, and paychecks are garnished.
Ironically, men just want a fair ruling and equality in the eyes of civil society, and when they vocalize that, they are demonized, shamed, called incels, etc..
Wow you’re bitter. I can see why a court wouldn’t appreciate your very biased, and sexist takes.
You do know women also get paid 2/3rds less on average for the same job?
That’s just a factoid for you.
Even if custody is shared 50/50, from what I’ve seen the vast majority of the thought load of filling in school forms, figuring out arrangements etc falls to women. 50/50 custody is not 50/50 responsibility.
Not taking the bait, sorry. Have a nice day!