this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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My (unscientific and possibly completely wrong) theory is that the long term pains can become relatively unnoticed background noise such that we don't realize that we are expending some amount of energy on mental mitigation for those pains. Especially if we also have a general lack of bodily awareness already, which is apparently common among us autistic individuals.
When we are closer to burnout though, all of those small expenditures are so much harder because we don't have as much energy overhead in those times, making every internal and external demand feel much more taxing.
This is the answer. I started writing something then realised I'd just rewritten what you had written in different words. Autistic people tend to be less able to recognise what their body is telling them. I recently said to my partner that I have been exhausted and really tired and she responded that I'd had a busy week, done 9 hours of driving in heavy traffic and terrible weather and had poor sleep. I thought there was something really wrong with me, she pointed out perfectly valid reasons for me feeling the way I was.
It's called "interoception" for anyone that wants a new special interest (or to add to theirs): https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing
This sounds very much like the case! Thanks for helping it make sense