this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
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Comradeship // Freechat
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I'm sorry to hear that. It wasn't my comment, was it? I'd have to have upset you.
I've got a pile of climate change books that I'm trying to work through. The problem is, it's depressing af. I can read for a few weeks but then I need time off. Sometimes a day or two will work. Other times I need a month or more.
You do a lot of great research and share it with us but some of the topics are a bit grim. Would it be worth taking a break for you to recover if it's making you feel that way? I wouldn't want you to stop posting but if you need a break, you've got to look after yourself.
No, it was nothing that anybody here commented. I have a shitty hippocampus, and resultingly I regularly obsess over my unpleasant experiences even when they stopped being relevant years ago. I am sure that anybody who’s been reading my comments for about a year can guess which personal matter has been agitating me again. Sometimes it makes me want to avoid others as much as possible, so I stay inside a lot.
Occasionally I even consider trying something antisocial, but the potential consequences make me reluctant. The worst thing that I have done to complete strangers within the last five years was deliberately ignoring them when they say ‘hi’ to me. I haven’t made any rude gestures or yelled ‘fuck off’ at them, but it is mildly tempting.
As for the grim topics, at the risk of sounding counterintuitive I have to say that they don’t devastate me emotionally. They can be moderately depressing, but being so far removed from the experiences, they just don’t traumatize me like some of my personal experiences do.