this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2023
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The fifth world.
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God… LG, always with the updates. That’s their answer to everything!
Ever since they got into the encabulator business, they want everything to run on their proprietary platform, and a big step towards that is to push software updates to make sure that no third-party encabulator will work with their hardware.
I don’t know who makes YOUR encabulator, but I guarantee that if you apply that patch, unless it’s LG (or one of their un-named subsidiaries), that it’ll stop working immediately - and THEN how will you adjust the primary phase harmonics to get extra-dimensional channels?
If I were you, I’d look at refreshing the aether-based configuration variables on your encabulator first, maybe even use your favorite time-dilation method to revert to the literal second that it was working before, and see if that closes your portal.
If your skincrawler is still around, just sprinkle some oregano around your baseboards and oxygen supply, they hate that stuff.
My encabulator is installed on my Pear TV box connected via LDMI, it's a Pear one, am I safe