Germany

It also seems to me that she has chosen the most difficult option for life in Germany.

In the end, she has two culture shocks, one for life on base and one for life in Germany. She has to get used to both, doesn't feel at home in either and has no or only limited access to resources from both sides.

The fact that she is a freelancer and only has American clients makes things even more difficult, because she lacks contacts in German society through companies and colleagues. Especially with the question of German courses, for example, my company would definitely help and even with any bureaucratic hurdles, at least someone would be there to advise. Depending on how she deals with her colleagues, perhaps someone would also act as an interpreter. In addition, she would have contact with people who speak English as well as German, which would lower the language barrier.

I don't think it's that unusual for older Germans who can't speak English to not want to have a conversation with someone who speaks A1 German, especially because small talk isn't that common in Germany. The integration into a village community is of course also an extra challenge in Germany, which is certainly not helped by the fact that they have no contact points, i.e. work, children or something, through which one automatically comes into a group.

As for the language, it seems like she has only lived in the US and Korea and, since she says she is half-Korean, I assume she learned at least basic Korean as a child. Of course, that's very different from learning a completely new language as an adult. It might have been a good idea to learn the language in Korea when you know you're moving to another country....

She couldn't have searched very long for language courses, maybe she lacked information on how and what to look for. If I am not mistaken, Otterberg is more or less right next to Kaiserlautern and there are of course language courses. From the evening course at the VHS for around 100 euros to the intensive course, which then actually goes the whole day, but for me 320 Euro was the maximum price I found. Of course, it may be difficult to get into the VHS courses because we currently have a stable full of people who just want to learn German. The connection seems to run once an hour, which is not awesome now, but should still be doable. You could of course think about using a bike if you find the car too expensive.

I understand their problems, especially the points of contact with the German bureaucracy could certainly be better. But many of their problems also seem to be very personal. For example, no one can really do anything about the time zone. And it seems to me that she doesn't take advantage of or doesn't know about many of the offers that are available. But then I would actually also give the American side a bad report card. It can't be the first spouse who needs help in Germany.