this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2023
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We all have a right to defend ourselves, but also an obligation to deescalate. It's all contextual. Following black and white rules is not the way to operate in a complex world.
Memes like this serve to stoke anti-feminist sentiment among men. I don't think we should post them, but it's useful to discuss.
This! Asking "under what circumstances am I allowed to hit women" sounds like you're itching for it.
If your only train of thought regarding domestic abuse is "ohh. Does that mean I can hit back now?" then you're not a victim, you're just a closeted abuser.
If your only answer to a public assault is fighting back you're not concerned with solving the situation, you're just spoiling for a fight.
Sure, there are situations where fighting back IS the only viable solution. But jumping to it immediately means we're not talking about a hypothetical situation - we're talking about a fantasy of yours.
I think it’s only useful to discuss it with the right nuance behind it. And for the record, I feel the same way about all discourse.
Very little of value can come from a conversation that starts with a sweeping generalisation or a broad statement, and most of the time, we will find much more valuable insights in nuanced debate that doesn’t try to stroke an emotional chord with an audience.
The logic is simple: “men feel society treats them unfairly when they’re in a violent situation with a woman, so I will make a post appealing to that feeling, but removing any sort of nuance that might explain some of the reasoning and potential exceptions in those situations, all with an excuse of gender equality.”