this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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Tell us about the one that "got away" (self.gaybros)
submitted 1 year ago by poopsmith to c/gaybros
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As in: the guy that you fell for but you couldn't make it work out for any reason, or maybe a missed connection from long ago, or perhaps something happened in the relationship and you were forced to end things

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[–] wit 2 points 1 year ago

Yes, that hurts to hear. It is always a possibility with gay people expressing their love for might-be-straight people. I have trouble believing that your friendship will just die like that.

Has he not contacted you in 18 months? If not.. maybe go ahead and send him a message? This is always troublesome, at least in my mind: "He did not send me a message, he obviously does not care about me. Why should I?", "Why should I be the one always taking the first step?"... But sometimes, someone has to take that first step and show vulnerability.

Maybe something like "Hey. I know we have not contacted in a while, but I really miss you. You were my longest and best friend and I want that to continue.. I miss our talks and I truly care about you. How have you been doing?"

On the other hand.. you contacting him might just open the crush again and here comes suffering. This is something you have to decide for yourself.. In the long run, it may just be better to create new friendships and cultivate those.