Asklemmy

Yeah, but ironically this wasn't super natural. Some kids broke in to the building that were kind of these animal sacrifice cultists for lack of a better word. I heard a scream and drew my firearm. Those kids scared the living shit out of me. Fuckers tortured a cat and it was the cat I heard scream out in pain. I held them all under felony citizens arrest until the police showed up in force. I don't like cops but when I was going through college, being a security guard happened to pay a lot better than anything else. One of the cops said to the kids, "My wife and I have cats. You're fucking lucky I don't beat the shit out of you with my baton. See how you fuckers like an ass beating."

That was the one and only time I could seriously consider treating a cop to beer and wings. All of my life I've been owned by a feline or two. I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of these kids too. Restraint though likely kept me outta jail. Cop even told me later on, out of ear shot of anybody else, that if I had beaten the shit out of these kids, we would be sitting at an all-nite diner having a good meal and filling out paperwork. That was the ONLY cop I could ever get behind