this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 days ago (24 children)

There is no "Fair" when you become a parent.

Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.

That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.

Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.

[–] scrion 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn't necessarily "selfish" - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?

You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they're old enough, and at other times you'll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven't seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that's called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.

Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 days ago

I never said it's not ok to be selfish. It's perfectly ok to care about yourself. Because that's is the only mouth you have to feed. Once it becomes 2, you have to let go of that feeling of a fair life. It's not fair.

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