this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Though it manifests disembodied, it is still entangled with the one attached to you; they share state and sensation. The focus that maintains their entanglement is your liver. Cirrhosis or other damage to the liver causes a spotty connection that gives horrific shocks each time it disconnects or reconnects, accompanied by the sound of a dial up modem that only you can hear at THX volumes.