this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2025
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This is why people fail at dating and relationships. They look at it like fishing- that your goal is to tempt a big fish into biting. That is wrong. Dating is a SEARCH. In your area there is somewhere between a few thousand and a million potential partners of your desired gender and age and other characteristics. You aren't trying to persuade the first one you see to like you, you're trying to find the one who already likes you but doesn't know it yet because they haven't met you. The person you are compatible with will like you for who you are. So when this girl rejects him because she doesn't like anime, he should not take that as a personal failing. He should smile and say okay on to the next one.
And if you're into stuff like anime put that shit in your profile. That will attract the right people and screen out the wrong ones. That's not 'making a bad impression', the people for whom anime is a turn off are people who you wouldn't want anyway if you are an anime fan.
Atup. There's a lotta guys who think dating apps are akin to ordering a woman online and then finessing the edges and they always get ragingly shitful when they find out women are actually people and don't want that bullshit.
(This is outside of transactional hookups where people just wanna fuck)
There's a lot of flawed logic on all sides.
And that's not even accounting for the inherently deeply complex and illogical stuff that goes along with dating too.
When I was actively pursuing online dating years ago, some of my best dates were the one and done dates where we both seemed to know early on that we probably weren't interested in each other as long term partners but were mature enough to acknowledge that without taking it personally and enjoy a much more relaxed rest of the date. On one of those occasions, my date even suggested that while I wasn't a good match for her, if I were interested, she'd give her roommate my number, thinking we'd be better.
In the end it never happened, but it just shows that just because one or both halves of a date may not want a second date, that's not a failing of either one, necessarily.