this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2025
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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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Say the bird does start talking shit about one of them: how do you prove it was the other person to teach the bird and not the person being insulted?
This isn't enforceable.
Has to be a really dreadful divorce if you spend tens of hours teaching "Michael is a shitmuncher" to your parrot, just so your ex-partner loses visitation rights to it, and you get to listen to it repeating that phrase for the 30+ years of both your miserable lives.
This is the kind of petty shit bitter divorcees do a lot. At least they aren't setting up stuff to prevent the other from killing the damned bird to spite their ex.
Broken hearts can be horribly spiteful; planning for the future isn't often part of that equation.
"If the bird talks bad about either person, it will be handed over to a third party for adoption."
"You're welcome, and that will be $3,000."
--my lawyer, probably