this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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I decided to end a relationship and marriage, after being together for 13 years. For the first time in years I put myself first and realised that I needed to be out of the relationship. Coming out of this has been very difficult and I've been struggling with my mental health since.
I started dating again, and have had two horrible experiences where my feelings were just put aside and it really hurt. Both of which ended up with the relationship ending. It's like I'm not allowed to have feelings or struggle. ๐
Similar story here. 21 years and there's a child involved. Even similar 2 instances of dating that involved not being allowed to express my feelings without risking the relationship. So I did and ended both relationships. It would be nice if there was a choice that isn't hard. The only choice we seem to have is which hard we want. Both of which isn't a great ending. I've since given up dating altogether. Resigned to the fact that that part of my life is over. Just being a good and present parent, being nice and helpful to everyone in my life. I don't want to go through life alone but I don't seem to have a choice in that without being a doormat for someone else, which I refuse to do because if I did, I'd be showing my child to put up with never getting what you need from a relationship and that it's normal. I can't do that.
I'm sorry to hear that man. Dating after a long relationship is so hard, but I do hope you come across someone kind who appreciates you for who you are, emotions/feelings and all.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through this with a child too, but you sound like a good father.