this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
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[โ€“] SacralPlexus 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not sure why you got downvoted because I had the same reaction when I read it. This is your spouse and treating her request for divorce and obvious associated emotional distress as something related to her gender rather than the specifics of your relationship seems incredibly dismissive and misogynistic.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Who knows, lol. But I'm more than happy to engage with people who disagree, so long as it remains relatively civil.

I've had plenty of gender-coded miscommunication with my wife over the years. But that's far, far outweighed by more individual differences (like neurotypical v neurodivergent, mismatched communication habits, and mismatched expectations from how we were raised. Hell even just regional differences.

And when it comes to the other married guys I know, I've provided advice (upon request) that basically boiled down to (1) you don't "win" a marriage, (2) treat her like a partner not an adversary (even if she's treating you adversarially for now), and (3) be open and vulnerable when you can. It's amazing how many of them have just... never once heard that advice from anyone else their whole life. Wild out here.