Greentext

I am so happy to hear you found something that worked for you and it sounds like it was a hell of a fight but that kind of intense care can be so impactful if it's the right fit for you. It sounds not unlike a good psychiatric crisis center but more focused on treating physical symptoms that are often deeply interlinked with mental health in a way few providers treat effectively.

ultimately no two cases are the same and I feel like I've needed the opposite treatment in some respects. I hit a wall with PT and strength conditioning and while it's definitely still an important part of my recovery, it seems that isolated muscle strength is not the problem, and it's actually possible I've been overtraining to try to feel better. best working theory is I'm hypermobile and instinctively locking my joints to retain stability. I generally have a lack of sensation and don't feel much direct pain, until my posture / muscle arrangement is so out of whack that I can't function anymore.

so the work has been more focused on building bodily awareness and imporoving proprioception, and when I work out it tends to be pretty freeform and meditative and I have to aim for working out less than I want to but making the most of it. I have a provider who does specialized massage therapy combined with somatic work, and acupuncture has been an amazing low-impact way to poke into my fascial tissue and get it to chill the fuck out a bit. PTSD work and psilocybin have also been really helpful. I needed a muscle relaxer in the early days but am glad my doc stopped prescribing it after a few months. definitely getting back to feeling more normal though I suspect it won't ever fully go away. but I'm happy to have been forced into building up this much awareness of how my body works.