this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2024
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If you want to entertain having kids, you need to be ready for a radical shift in your life priorities. Your kids will take priority over just about everything -- often even yourself. They'll take priority over your parents entirely, let alone your personal relationship with them.
First, are the practical and logistical aspects of your life at all dependent on your parents? I.e. are you fully independent? You will need to be and then some, you're going to entertain having kids.
Once you're fully independent and additionally have resources to spare (time, effort, money, space, etc, usually b/c you're with a partner you can trust and rely on), then choosing to have kids means starting your own family -- not your parents' family.
If the grandparents are supportive and helpful, that's great! They're extremely welcome to contribute to your kids' lives (and lighten some of your parenting load!)
However, if they're negatively impacting you or esp your kids, then they can lose that privilege. Again, your priority will be your kids. If this is a real concern for you, you'll need to factor it into your "ready to have a kid" considerations.