Mental Health

4299 readers

59 users here now

Welcome!

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1-Posts promoting paid products and services of any kind are not allowed here.

2-All posts and comments must be helpful and supportive. Do not put vulnerable people at risk.

3-Do not DM or ask to speak privately to any of our members unless they specifically request it.

If a person from this community disturbs you in a comment, please report the comment. If you receive a DM you did not request, send a screenshot of the DM in a message to a moderator. This is a bannable offense.

4-Suicide, Self-Harm, Death-- Extended discussions are STRONGLY DISCOURAGED here. First, mods and community members are caring people, but not experts in crisis situations. Second, we want to avoid Lemmy becoming like many commercial social media platforms, where comments can snowball into counterproductive talk.

If you or someone you know needs more help than can be found here, please refer to the pinned resources.

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

- Therapy

Neurodegenerative Disease Support

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Friends and Family of People with Addiction

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to ZenGrammy for more information.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

10 years ago I tried to do it, never told anyone (self.mentalhealth)

submitted 1 week ago by agent37 to c/mentalhealth

3 comments fedilink hide all child comments

be me, a gifted programmer, living in a huge house, pregnant gf, good grades on prestigious uni

uni expels me because of autism, repeat uni, invest house inheritance in gaming cyber coffee

Security company employees were pro thieves, steal it clean, down to wall cables

A year wasted on persecutions and courts, start doing hard drugs, fail at new uni, fired at jobs, gf and son left me forever, shuffle many gfs, family decides to sell the house, I already wasted everything and could never recover from all of this

one day it was country’s holidays, got 6 full bags of pure colombian 3 different groups of friends drinking all night at different parts of the city, 3 days non stop use, I only used 2 bags (they told me 1 under 10 min is lethal) 4th day I knew there’s no way back, get home, I’m might do it

5 days without sleep or food, start seen lightnings and hearing beats, decided to end it, start rushing the last bags “if it happens it happens” I thought

muscles turns tight, start convulsing, I can’t fell my arms and legs, lungs dried out, heart went from crazy to halt, vision goes away My room turns into a light bulb that escapes away, around it I can see I’m traveling through a tunnel

Holy shit! the tunnel thing is real, this is it, there’s no coming back, I’m sorry everyone

Then I picture the face of my son, I can’t do this to him! wtf do I do now!

I start crawling a mountain, I can see the light where I came from, get there, the light turns into what my eyes wide open are looking, my room and my cold dead body inside of it

push air into my lungs I can feel air coming, push it out, then back in, after few tries my heart squeeze once then start pulping painfully, I can start thinking again, how is this possible, what?

still can’t move my body, look at the floor, there’s a city of gnomes dancing, yup I’m tripping balls, the closest one looking at me is like “what are you doing here?”

sleep for 48 hours, wake up starving 40 pounds underweight, can’t believe I’m alive, I can see my bones through my skin, I died, but I never told anyone

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] cAUzapNEAGLb 8 points 1 week ago

A fascinating and heart breaking read, thank you for sharing.