Bipolar Disorder

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Am I the asshole for disclosing early to my date that I have bipolar disorder? (self.bipolardisorder)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by jeanmarielepain to c/bipolardisorder

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She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn't true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it's better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that's okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.

She said she is disabled too and won't be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she's got "nurse syndrom" which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to "save" or "fix" their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship. AITA for thinking she's the one showing red flags?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Nah you're not the asshole but if someone isn't warm to the idea of talking about disabilities, don't make it your personality. A good way of making sure you're not turning your disability into your personality is make sure you talked about something else you're passionate for first.

(not saying you did this, but it's common with ADHD kids)

[–] jeanmarielepain 1 points 2 months ago

I am not making it my personality but thank you for the advice.