this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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Honestly, drag agrees with your mother in law on one thing: the psychiatrist who told your husband he doesn't have NPD wasn't following professional standards.
Lack of self reflection is not a diagnostic criteria of NPD. That psychiatrist was not following the DSM, they were following their own preconceptions. That's not ethical. And it's not supported by the research, either, because the current research actually shows that people with NPD struggle with self doubt a lot. That's where the "excessive need for admiration" comes from. They need to be told they're not a failure. Your husband needed to be told he's not a bad person. Drag isn't saying your husband has NPD; he probably doesn't. Drag is saying the psychiatrist's reason was wrong.
Maybe your psychiatrist is actually competent, and was telling a comforting lie to soothe your husband's fears. Or maybe they were letting their preconceptions and stereotypes compromise their professional judgement.