Asklemmy

Normally by this point in time in the year, I would already have 80-90% of my holiday shopping done, yes, even before Black Friday, I just try to stay on top of it. However, I don't feel connected to Christmas as a holiday and don't want to take part in gift-giving this year. I've got three children and some nieces and nephews, though primarily it's my children I buy for, and I've bought for them every year of their lives. I think it's due to a few different factors, there's some amount of guilt for having participated as long as I have, but at the same time, I feel that I shouldn't be participating anymore, or at least for this year. Is anybody else feeling this way this year?

1. I'm not a Christian, more Agnostic/Atheist, so it's not even anything I feel particularly spiritual about, it's just been this secular tradition that my family did when I was a kid and I've just kept going with it out of sheer momentum without really questioning it. I wanted to give my kids a "normal" childhood and obviously you do Christmas for your kids if you're a good parent, right?
2. I've been the only active participant ever since my kids were born. My wife, a Christian, doesn't even participate in gift-giving and has even actively sabotaged the Santa Claus "game". She's literally told my young kids (12 , 7, & 6) that there is no Santa Claus and it's just been me giving the gifts. She's always done this, but the kids have at least pretended to play along most years (12 year old has known for awhile). So now I feel like I just want to throw the towel in, what's the use anymore? It's obvious nobody believes in it anymore, why bother?
3. My wife and I are already talking about getting a divorce (due to other long-standing issues) and things have been tense in the household for some time now. I want a dissolution because we agree on most terms, she refuses to participate and won't budge unless it's a full divorce. I'm hesitant to bring in lawyers for a divorce with how biased it feels like the court system is in divorces, I would rather have everything negotiated between us beforehand and bring a lawyer in for dealing with details.
4. I've been getting treated poorly by my wife and other family members particularly bad this year. My kids have been fine, and I hate to feel like I'm "taking it out on them", but I don't know why I'm contributing to this family holiday when I'm being made to feel like the black sheep of the family, like I don't contribute anything anyways (despite being the only one who has ever participated in gift-giving).
5. Due to the above family situation and some other events, I'm feeling a bit of depression. I realize that giving gifts could probably raise my spirits, but it just all feels so hollow, like even the temporary hit of happiness from just buying consumer goods for others isn't enough to make it worthwhile.
6. The "magic" is pretty much already gone, probably due to a little bit of above the wife essentially spoiling Santa Claus for multiple years and also due to the kids just growing up naturally. I'm pretty sure all the kids already know what's going on, so there's just no impetus to keep the charade going, though it was always going to have transition at some point.
7. Some small part of me, despite not being religious, thinks that just mindless gift-giving of consumer goods is not "in the spirit" of Christmas. It's just this Retail-driven holiday being pushed on us by corporate overlords who want us to BUY MORE STUFF.
8. Financials are tighter this year. Certainly not the tightest it's ever been, I've been in much worse situations financially (and still bought gifts), but it is a factor this year, and with potential upcoming hardships due to the incoming administration, it might be better to tighten the belt a little. If this was the only thing, it wouldn't be much of a factor for me.

I think I'll sit the kids down at least and talk it over with them, their ages seem young, yet they understand alot at their ages, but I feel like I'd rather be up-front with them about it, rather than them waking up Christmas morning expecting gifts and finding nothing under the tree. Just wondering if I'm just being a douche about the whole thing.