this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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But you need to imagine a context, or there's no conversation to be had because it makes now sense in a vacuum. In what world does anyone just say something like, "A man likes to feel like a man" without context?
You provided your own context which generally is about what you do for yourself. Though I'm slightly skeptical that you choose to do those things specifically in the context of "today I want to do something for myself that makes me feel like a man". You just do the things you like; full stop. But if I'm wrong, you do you, no judgement or kink-shaming ;-) I kid!
So in the more general context of debating what it means when someone says "A man likes to feel like a man" you have to wonder what drove them to say it and to whom. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume it was said in response to someone doing/not doing, or approving/disapproving of something the speaker associates with feeling like a man. And with that very generic context one has to ask, why is it someone else's responsibility to do/not do something to make someone feel like a man? And why does anyone's approval/disapproval impact someone else's sense of masculinity?
As for feeling useful, being relied upon, honouring responsibilities, how are those traits of being a man? I ask that in the context of, how are they not just traits of a good person. When someone doesn't do those things that doesn't make them not a man, it makes them not a good person full stop.