Bipolar Disorder

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Am I the asshole for disclosing early to my date that I have bipolar disorder? (self.bipolardisorder)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by jeanmarielepain to c/bipolardisorder

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She told me I trauma dumped on her and I was looking to trauma bond. Which I think isn't true since I disclosed to other dates from the get-go I was bipolar because I am one of those who think it's better to tell someone right away then later when they get attached. Some people are just not okay dating with mental illnesses and that's okay. So I prefer to say it in advance.

She said she is disabled too and won't be capable of taking care of me all the time, I have taken it badly because as I said to her I am not looking for a mother. She told she's got "nurse syndrom" which is basically in the context of romantic relationships, is a psychological phenomenon where an individual, often a woman, feels a compulsive need to "save" or "fix" their partner. I told her I find that infantilizing I do not want a mother or someone trying to save me, yes I am disabled but yes I can also take care of myself like a grown-up, I am not 6 years old looking for guidance. I said to her I do not feel comfortable pursuing the relationship. AITA for thinking she's the one showing red flags?

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[–] voracitude 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like a bad first date, but nobody here is going to be able to impartially comment on a conversation we weren't there for. Just know you're not an arsehole for not wanting another one with this person. Your reasons are your own and if anyone else wants to judge them, by all means ignore them.

When you tell the right person, it won't matter how you do it. They'll understand, and you'll feel it.

[–] jeanmarielepain 2 points 1 day ago

Yes, thank you.