> Greentext

You assume everyone has a perfect understanding of themselves

The 'understanding' of gender is appreciating how gender is socially constructed. That requires observation of society, hence revealing of new information, hence a journey of understanding.

Your own gender is an experience, one that is even present (although not labelled) without the social norms. It's what you experience as what you want to be and do. It would exist without the social construction of gender. You could prefer certain colours and certain toys regardless of what society says is 'right' or 'wrong' for your external genitalia and designation on a birth certificate. I have known what society thinks about gender is not important to me since I first saw gender norms in the real world. I found the whole concept ridiculous. I've known that I am treated as male for having a penis, but am actually not interested in gender, since before I discovered terms like non-binary.

Someone saying that "you need to watch Gordon Ramsay says about cooking before you know what food you like" is ridiculous. You've had experiences and you prefer some of them without Gordon Ramsay. He doesn't even need to exist.

Someone saying "you realise your gender preferences by being mocked for your micropenis" is being similarly ridiculous. Gender does not equate to external genitalia.

It's not a 'perfect understanding'. It's 'having experiences', which everyone does.

When I was young I was interested in other men, and frankly, quite disgusted by it. It’s the habitat I was raised in and if you’d asked me back then, I’d have told you it was because I was a sinner. The real reason as I came to discover was indeed that I’m just gay. It took a lot of steps and discovery to get there.

You did have an understanding of yourself. That was scared out of you by threats. You didn't discover that you were gay - you just knew it, because it was a feature of your experience - you discovered that other people were wrong when they told you that was disgusting.