My favorite pastime is telling people all about skinny pigs.
"Here's a picture of a scrotum with a mustache. He will never know what warmth feels like. If you want him, you're going to have to pick between his happiness and safety. If you want him to be happy and get him a friend to live with, when they argue his friend will bite him in the rump, and he's going to be constantly sick. If you want him to be safe, just get him, but he might actually die of loneliness."
"And no, I don't know why he costs $300."