this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
315 points (95.4% liked)

Greentext

4105 readers
1589 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] sicarius 39 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I was sat at home alone one night, have my first joint in months. Sat at back door looking out into the woods and think I can hear a girl sobbing. I must be stoned as hell. Then I clearly hear some girl shouting help me! In my pyjamas and Crocs I up and run off into the woods.
While running through the woods my stoned brain says to me if I were planning an ambush, this is what I'd do.
Shut up brain.
Find a young woman sobbing in the pitch darkness off the path in the woods.
Calllm her down. She had an argument with her boyfriend and he took her phone and left her in the woods, she doesn't know where she is.
I offer to drive her to the hotel she says she's staying at.
Halfway there I see the cops coming out of the station and flag them down, they were just on their way out to look for this girl.
I tell them what happened and they said I could be on my way.
Thank fuck as I was too high to be talking to cops.
Turns out that girl and her boyfriend work at the hotel with my mate, he says this happens once a week, her boyfriend had in fact not taken her phone she had it all along, he just walked off when she started causing drama again.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

That ended much better than initially anticipated. Thanks.