this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
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Today I F'd Up

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So, as was walking my two English Setters as I normally do when one of them decided to take a dump in my neighbours grass. They are young and not as well behaved as I'd like, but, did sit when I commanded so I went about fishing out the bags from my pocket. So happy was I that they had the sense to relieve themselves so close to home that I failed to appreciate why they were both fixated in the same direction.

Had I simply taken the time to see what they were looking at I'd have realized there was a new pair of dogs being walked around the corner across the street and had my guard up. Just as I stooped down to pick up their mess they both simultaneously launched themselves at full force to go meet the newcomers, taking me with them... No, seriously I was like a bobsled being dragged behind a team of huskies only instead of snow it was cement I was sliding over.

I let go of the leashes, yelled for them to come back (which they of course ignored) and got up to give chase. By the time I limped up to them they had happily made 4 new friends (2 of whom I thanked for grabbing their leashes). Went back and cleaned up the original mess and hobbled right back home to clean myself up.

Both my kneecaps are entirely covered in scab and the underside of my entire right forearm/palm had to be bandaged by Nurses and wrapped.

I am in so much pain right now.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

$25-35 is me eating or not on the day before my paycheck.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

While I empathize and have been there myself, making that work doesn't make a person "rich."

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 2 points 2 months ago

Rich is relative, having enough to eat between pay checks is rich to me.

What is rich in your opinion?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Their comment almost reads like satire.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart 3 points 2 months ago

America’s writers have been getting lazy lately and seems to be relying on satire too much.