this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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impossible because early humans were using throwy things with their spears to make them faster and get more hit points. the only people who wanted to be badgers were the original australians, who were pretending to be african honey badgers, which they had never heard of,, but boxing kangaroos is crazy dangerous so they had to come up with something.
I believe you are quoting Steptoe et al (2018)'s study on the boxing mechanisms of Oceanic wildlife, but that was refuted in a follow up paper by Klingon et al (2020) which could not replicate the early enthusiasm that the indigenous population had for badgers, nor the spear tips for the speed. Though it is indeed known that one can run faster whilst holding a knife in a contemporary setting such as the olympics, studies have not shown this to be the case in a honey badger setting.
Klingon is a known reprobate from several hundred years in the future. We know his father was descended from Worf, a most fierce and honorable warrior the likes we've never heard, because it hasn't happened yet. But his works completely failed to address the Atlantic Multi-Donged Squid, which attacked the Sydney coast repeatedly in March of 2020.
That attack was justified, to preserve the ongoing peace between the Pacific and Atlantic molluscs, all of which are subservient to Worf but decidedely not to his future Klingon progeny. To suggest otherwise is separatist heresy.
as a citizen scientist, i strongly disagree. you speak of shellfish, academically! while a lonely starving writer from some seacoast shithole makes up a bunch of shit. As Cthculu the god of unspellable god names would like to remind you, hi!
Forgive me, I did not wish to gain the ire of a loyal devotee of the Great Old One nor a citizen from the Republic of Science. I speak only from the perspective of a lowly decapod who has seen enough turbulent waters to know what it means when fire meets noxious wind.
nah! your insights have been most inspiring. i do apologize for the delay as after our most recent discourse i descended to the uppermost heights of my waterlogged dungeon library for a fortnight. i found the most dreadful poem attributed to none other than The Caterwauling Fellows and it is an amazing document of undersea carnivorous plant life. i shall have a monk transcribe it and ship it to you via bird forthwith.