In the last year I have discovered that my childhood memories are pretty lacking, like I don't remember major life events and even whole periods of time.
The more I thought about it, the scarier it got. The feeling of having zero recollection of things that people around me remember, is really scary.
I have some psychological issues that I never really understood the root of but after this, and reading about child abuse and specifically child sexual abuse victims and the symptoms that might develop later in life. I have this feeling that maybe something happened to me, and I even have a "suspect" who is not part of my life anymore but was when I was a child.
I suspect that my mother might know something but this is too scary to ask about, and honestly, too scary to investigate because what if it's true?
Did anyone experience something like this? How did you handle it? Am I just scared because I'm missing memories and want to find a reason for my psychological issues?
Writing this down was scary, up until now this was only between me and my brain.
I tend to feel like I had a relatively happy childhood. My parents made mistakes like all parents do, and there were life events that happened that weren't fair, but overall I didn't have anything overly tragic happen in my early childhood.
I also have a pretty good memory and can recall specific events from the age 3 though adulthood. But, I noticed in the 4th grade that I simply didn't have any memories from the 2nd grade beyond just 2 or 3 things. That has always bothered me, and as I get older the more it bothers me. I've asked my mom, but she can't think of anything that would have caused me to block memories. I've just accepted now that maybe nothing memorable happened that year.
Thank you for commenting.
The thing is, my memories from age 12 and before are beraly there, I have some which I can remember well but if you were to ask me anything about how life was, I just don't know.
Like right now, I'm trying to remember anything and other then the few memories I already have, nothing is coming up.
I don't even remember how I (or any one in my family) looked before age 13 I can only recall how I looked from photos that I saw as an adult.
Is that normal and I'm just confused?