this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2024
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There's a crowdsourced full-length Shakespearean translation of Pulp Fiction called Bard Fiction, and it's quite good.
JULIUS Forsooth, did I thy concentration break? Continue, please! Thou did, methinks, now speak Of our ill will. But now thy tongue is still? Allow me, then, to offer a retort. Describe to me Marsellus Wallace, pray.
BRITTANUS What?
JULIUS In which far land did thou first come to be?
BRITTANUS What?
JULIUS Thou sayest thou dost hail from distant What! I know but naught of thy strange country What. Which language speak they in the land of What?
BRITTANUS What?
JULIUS English, base knave, dost thou speak it?
BRITTANUS Aye!
JULIUS
Then my words are not Greek to thy dull ears.
BRITTANUS Nay!
JULIUS Then hearken to my words and answer them! Describe to me Marsellus Wallace!
BRITTANUS What?
JULIUS (Holds his blade pointed at Brittanus' eye) Speak “What” again! Thou cur, cry “What” again! I dare thee utter “What” again but once! I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name! Now, paint for me a portraiture in words, If thou hast any in thy head but “What”, Of Marsellus Wallace!
People have actually put it on stage too, it works.
Excerpt from the play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dfLkcTAR80
Oh god! And this comment:
"Dids't thou see a sign upon my domicile stating "Dead Moor Storage?""
Since I posted this I have legit been searching for a wallet that says 'Rascally Knave', I need that in my life.