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An outside observer may not be able to distinguish an illicit affair from ethical non monogamy.

You work with Alex and know he's married to Bob. Got a wedding ring and everything. One day you see Alex kiss Chris on the sidewalk outside the office. One might conclude that Alex is having an affair with Chris, and poor Bob is going to be devastated. But that makes some big assumptions about their relationships. They could be poly and Alex and Chris are also partners.

That said, I feel like basic people cheating is more common than people doing ethical non monogamy, but I don't have stats for that on hand. Ethical non monogamy isn't super rare, but many people aren't super open about it. Random folks can be unkind about it, and also wildly misinformed.