IN BUDDHISM, it is said that love and compassion are made out of one substance, which is called "understanding." If you understand, you can love. But if understanding is not there, it is impossible for you to accept and love someone. Why did he act that way? Why did he say those things? You should look deeply into these questions, and then you will see the causes of what you are dealing with.
With this understanding, you stop blaming and criticizing. Your compassion is born of your understanding of the situation.
Same. This resonates so deeply for me and is helpful in several different relational contexts I’ve been struggling greatly with.