Michigan

“He kicked me in my balls as soon as I opened the door,” Mr DeYoung said, adding that Mr Chapman ran at him and slammed him into a chair.

Mr DeYoung gave his account to the outlet over the phone from an emergency room where he said he was being treated for a broken rib.

For his part, Mr Chapman alleges that Mr DeYoung had swung at him and said: “I’ll kick your ass.” Mr DeYoung denies this happened.

Continuing, Mr Chapman says he removed his glasses, took Mr DeYoung by the legs and knocked him down: “When you see me taking my glasses off, I’m ready to rock.”

The first and last quotes of this snippet are the best things I've heard all year.