this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
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Having a type and fetishizing definitely isn’t the same. The difference is, when you have a type, you date people with a certain appearance or with a certain style, etc. because you think they’re hot. Everybody has a type. The fact that they might be trans is not inherently part of that process, although of course, indirectly, it can be. If you’re attracted to masculinity, hang around other queer people a lot and don’t really care what’s in someone’s pants, masculine, queer women and trans men tend to show up in your dating pool.
With fetishes, the most important thing to them is that the person is trans. If they weren’t, there’d be no interest. From what I understand, the main reason most trans ppl don’t like dating someone who fetishizes them is, that they aren’t seen as men or women but explicitly trans men or trans women. Sometimes not even that.
Also, yes, "BBC hunting" is a form of fetishization.
If I understand you correctly, it's OK to find someone sexy irrespective of whether they're trans, but not because they're trans.
Let‘s say it like that: If you find a trans person hot but you wouldn’t if they looked the same but had a different set of genitals, you‘re probably fetishizing, not just having a type.
You are allowed to find different things attractive about different people. Them being trans or not just shouldn’t be the dealbreaker.
So wait, if I'm trying to find a dude that looks like Link and is a 5'2" twink, it's not fetishizing trans men even though 99% of the guys who fit that bill are trans?
Don't overthink it. You like what u like. The other person is basically kink shaming and I'm not sure why. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to trans ppl for being trans. It's the same as liking someone for having big boobs. Just don't make it weird and toxic for your partner and it's usually all good.
Fetishizing also comes with an element of objectification.
There’s nothing wrong with being into short feminine men. Just be prepared for some of them to possibly be cis, treat them like fellow human beings, and be normal about a 6’2” broad shouldered trans guy too.
I'm not going to be normal about ANY 6'2" broad shouldered guy
I mean, I’m not the authority on that but I’d say yea.
Got it.
Thank you.