[work in progress]
Dear Daughter,
I love you with all my heart. You are everything to me. I had to leave you again. I know you are not happy about it. You mean everything to me. I want you to know that if anything happens to me, I will still love you with all my heart and soul. The last time I left was to heal from the damage that your mom and grandfather had inflicted on me through emails, through the courts, by means of third party harassment and online posts. This time I have left for my own safety and protection, which I will explain further. This is a post of the most recent events that have occurred within the last year of this posting. I will further continue posting a timeline of events that occurred after the false accusations and arrest that occurred years ago, but for now I am going to inform you of what is going on in the present.
I’ve already informed you of my relationship with your mom, some of the past actions your mom and grandfather have perpetrated against me, and things related to you as a baby. The general purpose of these posts it to tell you about a continued harassment that I’ve experienced throughout the duration of your life. From what I can see, they are blaming me for the series of events that have occurred throughout your lifetime. I want to assure you that much of this is because of their offending actions against me. They want me out of your life. The general purpose of these anonymous posts is to explain to you, the reason why, in the event that I have to leave you permanently. As of now, I have a deep concern for my personal safety because the harassment has escalated. I will explain further.
A year ago, I was contacted by someone that knows your mom and grandfather very well. They informed me that your grandfather contacted them directly, informing me that your grandfather had a concern for your safety in my care, and that he wanted me out of your life. They mentioned that your grandfather would do everything in his power to get rid of me once and for all. Throughout the many years of your life, the abuse I have received has shown this to be truth. Instead of continuing this harassment, your grandfather should have just contacted me personally, and spoke with me about the issues he had. Instead he let his hatred of me fester even further, propagating this hatred to everyone he discussed our issues with, even with you, all of this while he continues to listen and believe every lie provided to him by your mother. This has caused me great distress and expended many resources between all of us that could have been avoided. I think of the amount of success stolen from me because of the amount of negative resources they both inflicted upon me.
The ironic part of this this scenario is that the people your grandfather hired to harass me, actually put your life and my life in danger almost a dozen times already. The reality is that I haven’t put your life in danger once. I’ve always been a protective parent, very concerned with your safety at all times. I’ve come to my opinions about the dynamics surrounding the relationships between your mom, grandfather, and the third party harassment team, and my conclusions about this “concerned safety matter” is that they likely have not once informed your grandfather about the times they did put your life in danger. Why should they? They’ve made a bundle in money from your grandfather already. I’m sure your grandfather and the harassers could care less about my life. I want to believe that their only concern is the fact that your grandfather is very wealthy and they want a piece of that money. I’ve tried to inform your mom of this fact with multiple innuendos in emails, while trying to be careful to avoid having her abuse her favorite accusatory keyword that she loves to sing, “delusional”. From her responses, I don’t think she actually wants to believe me or cares for that matter. As I mentioned, there are many dynamics related to that as well. In court paperwork I’ve seen the same words chanted by your mom’s mom, your aunt and your grandfather as well as friends of the family. When I saw those words written, I thought to myself, how planned this all was when they manage to use the same exact word to describe me in their court statements, declarations and written letters to psychological forensic evaluators (we had two of them), when all my dealings with your family in the past have been far from that. The fact that they are willing to lie in court documents and the fear this stigma might bring upon me, is what kept me from going to the police. My fear of losing you because of their lies has led me to keep this a secret for so long. It’s a painful secret that I’ve managed to keep for such a long time and I’m not sure as to how much longer I can bare their abuses. Do you know how much damage having to keep a secret like that can be to someone. I do. I kept that a secret all for you, so that I wouldn’t lose you to your mother and grandfather’s schemes.
Interestingly enough, and for some odd reason the thoughts of how your grandmother (your mom’s mom) used to cook for her dogs fresh meats daily constantly comes to mind. She would buy them the best top of the line beef, and chicken and boil them in a pot for hours to cook them for these overfed and overweight dogs. This concoction of meats would cook on her center island stove in their huge kitchen, in their 10+ bedroom home while the blaring of Fox news would echo throughout the lower level of their house from their 80 inch television that hung over the kitchen table. Coincidentally, here I am now, in hiding, I see the same concoctions of food cooking in big vats of water or oil with the animal fats bubbling in a stew of pork, beef, chicken, sea creature dejour or an unrecognizable potluck combination of all of the above, all the while I see many neglected dogs on the streets without homes, constantly scratching from the mosquitos bites that plague every mammal in this country. The dogs wander the streets aimlessly looking for that one person to feed them. I’ve managed to adopt two of them that sit by my side for most of the day. I bring them whatever scraps I have left and at one point I’ll get the strength to bathe them, but their smell still prevents me from doing so. I think to myself how much I feel like one of those dogs. Despite me wanting nothing to do with your mother’s family, and just wanting to have my fair share of time to care for you uninterrupted, I see and feel the disparity that these dogs feel. I often wonder if your grandmother saw me on the streets, would she feed or kick me to the streets like most of the people do in this country? Based on the harassment I have received from your mom’s family throughout all these years, I can only think that the would likely kick me away to the curb, yelling frantically while I scurry away with my head and tail down in a sorry state that I see these dogs experience. The reason I believe this is because I have already experienced this from your grandfather and your mother on multiple occasions, but with even more veracity. It’s no surprise that your grandfather just did that a few weeks ago. I approached him asking him to make peace and work with me on solving the issues that we all had. The amount of animosity he showed be what just as if he had kicked that dog to the street, but over and over again. I feel like that beaten dog.
I have informed you that they have constantly lied about me, defamed my name, stolen my money through means of the courts, and other horrific actions I would not wish on my worst enemy. Their actions and the actions of their attorney is despicable to say the least.
As I informed you in the past, the harassment has gotten so bad for me that I was planning on leaving the state of California to escape your grandfather and mother’s abuse. I was asked to relocate to the South East from my job. I even put an offer to buy a property there. It was an absolutely beautiful 30 acre farm with a handsome modern cabin and a horse stable in the rolling hills. My thoughts were that I could leave the hell inflicted on me by your mother and grandfather and share my life with you uninterrupted in the summer and school breaks without their horrific reach and the harassment they have perpetrated against me. A formal proposal was made to your mom’s attorney informing her of our intention and letting her know that we would waive the 5 years of child support she refused to pay and fought so adamantly to evade. As with every other issue that we would bring to the table through your mom and her attorney, the request was ignored. What resulted, was that I missed the opportunity to make the purchase of this new home. In addition, my job was terminated as a result of the fact that I did not provide them an answer promptly that I would relocate to the state that my company had their primary business in. I so wanted to share the beauty of that new life I was going to have. Your mom has, yet again, destroyed another dream of mine because of her own selfish needs.
Over the last year, I have been harassed through social media, my computers and laptops have been hacked, my browser sessions have been hijacked, my WIFI has been attacked. When that individual confronted me about your your grandfather’s intentions about a year ago, what followed was a week long personal surveillance of me by vehicle. My conclusion is that the vehicular surveillance was primarily performed by professionals, likely current or former law enforcement. With discarded oaths to protect the people, they now use the tools paid for by public taxes with the original intention to stop criminals, now to stalk and harass me. It’s a shameful thing. How is your grandfather paying them? Perhaps with the cash he makes from his business he gives as donations to their organization or by other illegal means.
When I returned the first time from escaping your mother’s abuse, I returned only to be immediately thrown into the same abuse she has given me in emails over the last many years. Over the last month, my home has been broken into and property was destroyed. I suspected that this was occurring over the past few years but never to the extent that I saw recently. I wonder how your grandfather would feel if someone broke into his home and rifled through his things. Once again I was threatened by an individual on the street repeating something alluding to the fact that I need to cease my pursuit of justice in the family court system. This is not right. Your mom needs to pay for the lies she has made.
A year ago, individuals on social media impersonated someone I once knew and cared about. They claimed to be her and in a group effort they bullied me online, leaving me shattered and heartbroken. It got so bad that I sent a cease and desist letter to the social media company. What followed was a barrage of posts of letters I had written to your mother towards the end of our relationship. They were re-written but the content remained the same. My thoughts were that they used artificial intelligence to re-write the letters before they were posted. It was at that time I realized that it was your mom or someone working for your mom. At the point of confronting your mother about it, she actually admitted to knowing this person. I was in so much fear for the safety of this person that I cared about, I considered contacting her family to let them know what was going on. I feared that your mom had reached out to them, like she had done to other women in my past, and harassed them as well. My mind started to sink even worse and I thought that she might be in danger. I was ready to contact this person’s family to check on their safety and I even considered reaching out to the police or the FBI in Los Angeles to report this as an issue. Imagine how much chaos your mother and grandfather have created just to harass me? To this day, I often wonder if they caused all the problems that this person and I had prior to our falling out. We had our problems and some of the statements she expressed to me at the end of our relationship led me to believe that this person, that I cared about, was contacted by someone associated with your mother and grandfather for nefarious reasons, thus creating tension between us causing an end to the relationship.
As you have also witnessed yourself, my frustrations and fear on our road trips together have occurred on numerous vacations. On two occasions your mother and grandfather have hired individuals to interfere with our time spent together on our 10 day allocated trips. Instead of enjoying each other's time together, my time was spent concerned with the folks that almost ran us off the road on our last vacation together. You have seen this personally. On one of those occasions I contacted your mother to tell her to have her people back off because they almost caused us to be in a serious accident. At which point it did. Your mom and grandfather have ruined most of our vacations together, and at this point in time I no longer request the 10 days that the court had allocated to me because of the abuse I expect from them.
On one occasion, and from one particular username on social media, I've seen three posts alluding to the fact that they are from your mother. They mention certain buzz words that I would recognize as originating from her, but re-written and mixed with some crazy valley talk, They are likely rewritten by AI (one mentions your grandma's dead dog's name, another mentions the name of your mom's good work friend, and the last mentions a tool your mom and I use to communicate with). In all three particular messages by this one username the clues given tell me that they are from her, or someone writing for her. They claim to "know my secrets", and they are inferring that they will "expose me now". They were shortly deleted after they were posted. I'm not sure what those statements specifically mean, but I'm guessing that maybe it has something to do with the fact that my computers were hacked, and I watched in horror as my phone and computer browser sessions were hijacked right before my eyes. My emails and browsing sessions, that they have likely intercepted, have communications about the continued litigation that your mother creates in family court. These are communications with my attorneys. It is likely that communications with my health care providers were intercepted as well. All of these are private matters of mine, that are protected by the many laws that are continued to be broken.
Your mom continues to still send me passive aggressive and abusive emails, after all these years. Knowing that I often try to defend myself from her verbal attacks, she tries to incite me with her tactically abusive statements, causing me distress and great sadness. Sometimes, I think that she has the assistance of her attorney in creating these responses to me, as they are skillfully crafted. As I have documented in court paperwork, I have statements from witnesses declaring the fact that your grandfather has berated me often in your presence. This is parental alienation and some consider it to be child abuse. I worry when you spend so much time with him as he is likely a bad influence and a detriment to our relationship. This fact is because of statements that you have repeated in my presence and the presence of others. This has occurred on multiple occasions. I ask myself, if I've had to hear these derogatory statements repeated in my presence and the presence of others so many times, especially with his extreme animosity towards me, how many times has this actually occurred in your presence?
I know you have doubted my support for you throughout the last couple of years. I've seen you question my support for your involvement in athletics, and you often repeated your mom's statements about that lack of support, verbatim. I'm sure your mom has attributed my resistance to being a bad parent. I'm almost certain she has packaged this "resistance" that she portrays to your grandparents and attorney in a perfect frame, as to portray me as the bad and uncooperative parent. The absolute truth is that my resistance has been the result of my desire to protect our relationship. From the past history, your mother attacks me on almost every issue. Those attacks often require me to be a very careful parent when dealing with her. The less interaction we have the better things are. My desire for less interaction is a method known as parallel parenting. I had hoped that we could continue parenting together in a parallel parenting method. That method is where you and your mom do whatever she feels is necessary during your time, and we do what I feel is necessary during my time. This limits the interaction that both your mother and I have and helps to create peace. Unfortunately, your mom wants full control over you and this method won't necessarily work when you have parents that cannot work together. Why didn't I go to a judge to request it? The reason is simple. I have not reported the years of ongoing harassment to the court because of my fear that your mom and family would continue to accuse me of her favorite buzz word "delusional". and she would say I'm uncooperative, labeling me as a bad parent, and I would lose you as a Dad. It would take a lot for me to make my case to the judge to use this parenting method for that reason. A lot of my hesitation on reporting this abuse has subsided.
I have also asked your mother to involve a psychologist, to help us make better decisions for you. This conflict resolution is known as co-parenting counseling. Whenever a disagreement occurs between your mom and I, we would have a group discussion with this person to resolve the conflicts and come to some agreement. We've had this in the past and it worked very well. I have asked her many times to involve one, again . My attorney has also formally asked her attorney to involve one, and a judge even suggested it for our case. Once again your mom refuses to respond to any of our suggestions, thus frustrating the parenting relationship between your mom and I. Your mother absolutely refuses to do this. My thoughts are that there are two reasons for this. One is that it requires her to relinquish full control over you and give me a say in our decisions. Two, this now involves a third party in our conversations, which now brings in a witness that can provide testimony, possibly against her. I think of what happened to you recently with your injury and how it could have been avoided if we had one, and if I just had a say in some of your life.
The need to interfere with my life has created so much destruction, as the desire to terrorized me has turned into an absolute obsession. I'm sorry to say that I may no longer be a part of your life because of them. I've already informed you of this possibility. I want you to know that I've done everything I can to be a Dad in your life, but the combination of your mom's manipulation and your grandfather's obsession with me has drained me to a point where I can no longer function normally.
I am now away from the abuse and there is no need or desire for self destruction which tells me a lot about the damage that your mom and grandfather have done to me, and the dynamics of the relationship that you and I share.
I am so sorry, my dearest love. I love you with all my heart and soul.
Love,
Your Dad