this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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[–] livjq 81 points 5 months ago (32 children)

To all of the people saying this is sad, not all relationships have to last forever.

It's okay to get separated, even if you are married. It's actually good to realize your differences, decide that you work better apart, and provide support to an ex-spouse emotionally while you move on with your life as well.

[–] Zeritu 37 points 5 months ago (27 children)

I'm not sure that I fully agree. I mean, to each their own etc., but what you're describing seems to be more suited for relationships without marriage. The whole idea of being married is that your discuss this stuff before your wedding and then don't just get separated because you "don't feel it anymore". The idea is that, if you feel like you drifted apart, that your work on that and don't just get out of that relationship on a whim. That's the promise you give. And even if you agree with your partner to just go separate ways (yeah yeah, consenting adults can do whatever the fuck they want, sure), a divorce has the significant chance to screw you financially for decades. I mean, I don't know how it is in the US, but I've seen too many people who got their finances completely fucked by partners that they consentingly parted ways with, who they swore would treat them fairly. Too many houses repossessed, too many careers ruined.

Is it okay to get separated? Sure. It's obviously also okay to remain close and support each other, of course. But this comic promotes a lighthearted approach to something that deserves a much more careful and serious take that I don't agree with. Those first few panels should have made them get counselling, not divorced.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Depends. Marriage being for ever is social baggage. Marriage existing is social baggage. Society unfortunately doesn't make it easy to get divorced because it doesn't tolerate any alternative types of unions. Why can't I marry my two boyfriends if we all live together?

[–] Zeritu -2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What? You and your two boyfriends can live together all you want, but marriage is a legal construct that shares responsibility and burden between people and because of the responsibility part it's by design hard to get out of. Don't like how hard it is to get divorced? Easy: Don't get married.

I didn't criticise that this comic promotes getting in and out of relationships. I criticised that it suggests that a divorce has virtually no ramifications and boils down to two respecting adults separating on best terms, which is pretty fucking far from both, my personal experience and what's written in the law.

[–] SomeGuy69 2 points 5 months ago

Thank you and that's why I won't get married ever because it's very unlikely that my understandings and morals aligne with anyone else. We live in a time of tiktok and people don't seam to feel obligations for anything anymore. Then they shouldn't get married, but you can't trust the other one anymore to be mentally grown up enough to understand this.

Marriage is just for a fancy dinner and tiktok short clips to share online, right? /s

[–] [email protected] -2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Maybe your limited experience and the law is not respecting people who just happen to fall a bit outside the norm? The OP comic and my personal experience being just 2 examples of how the law is incompatible with our lives. You're making a hell of a lot of assumptions about our lives to decide that we're not serious about marriage. Heck, western countries were still figuring out gay marriage some yes ago.

The main reason why we can't have different modes of marriage is bureaucracy.

[–] Zeritu 1 points 5 months ago

But that's not what this is about?

Should marriage be rethought and adapted to new realities? Yes. Good that we're on the same page there.

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