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Side of bed debate - Which side is left? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 6 months ago by Mostly_Harmless_Variant to c/[email protected]

104 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Which side of the bed is the left side? Is the answer based on the perspective of laying in the bed (person's head at the head end)? Is the answer based on viewing it from the foot of the bed, looking at the head of the bed? Is there an "anatomical position" or special terminology like in boating for this?

For context: My boyfriend and I can't agree on this. We change who gets which side based on the shoulder we'd predominantly sleep on and how it's feeling. This let's us get good cuddles before shoulder pain gets irritated. He comes to bed after me. A while back he asked what side I'm sleeping on. I said "left". Later that night, he comes in and almost lays directly on me because he claims "left" is the other side. Since then we have to describe which side using complicated descriptions.

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[–] cobysev 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If I'm talking about sides of the bed, I'm almost never in the bed at the same time, so I would be talking from a position at the foot of the bed. Beds are practically never in the middle of the room, so I wouldn't be standing over the head of the bed while orienting. So the foot of the bed is the default position to reference.

If I'm in bed and talking about sides, I usually just guesture and say, "this side" (or "your/my side" if I'm talking to my wife) instead of designating left or right.

[–] Mostly_Harmless_Variant 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Your logic is that of my BFs.

If the bed to be used with people in it, I think that perspective should be the fixed perspective how it is used. If you're partner is on your right hand side, the side you sleep on is the left.

[–] cobysev 1 points 6 months ago

Maybe it's just a weird mental imagery thing to me, but if I'm talking about sides of the bed, I first mentally orient myself in the room of that bed before I can explain which side I'm talking about.

If I'm talking to someone whom I don't share a bed with, it feels weird to describe the bed from my perspective in it. I'd rather explain from a neutral position near the bed, not my position while using it. Especially if I'm talking about other people's beds. I don't want to imagine myself in their bed before discussing a side of the bed.

To me, there's a huge difference between the generic "left and right" side of the bed from the perspective of the foot of the bed, and "left and right" side based on which side I occupy at night. One feels far more personal, and I'd rather not deal with that visual, or risk other visually-oriented people like me imagining me in bed.