this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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In a nutshell I married a person who has destroyed me financially a few times over, and I cannot leave because I don't have the money. He's sort of like a narcissist (like in that vein, not fully but definitely very mentally disturbed), and he decided to get into wine and buy massive quantities simply to make me angry and ruin my life out of spite, after he destroyed my mental health. We had storage space for it at the previous house but got evicted by a landlord who took it back for his family member, and now I live crammed into a two bedroom apartment with 78 boxes of wine that I seldom if ever drink. He ensures he gets everything he wants in life, even when I was down to owning 3 pairs of pants.
It's incredibly sad and depressing and I can do virtually nothing about it but drag myself between both jobs, spending zero dollars save for my survey money, while he sits on the couch watching hockey 3 hours a night. I have no support and no way out but praying I somehow find time and a plan to make my own business and make enough money to dig out and find somewhere to hide from him.
If you have a red flag in a relationship, run. Not worth it.
I'm so sorry. Can you not sell some of the wine? Would he notice if it was a smaller collection? Just a reminder that financial abuse is abuse, control is abuse, there are shelters for people who are being abused which will get you out of that environment.
He notices if I so much as eat a bowl of cereal he thinks is his alone. Or forget to bring home the knife I took to work to eat lunch with. Or anything. You've never met someone so territorial. Once I left my bottle of work hand lotion on the kitchen table after a 16 hour shift and he threw it up the stairs and it burst everywhere, and when I had a screaming fit told me it was my fault for being inconsiderate.
Not kidding. And I can't leave because I'd never let my dogs get hurt and they sure don't let you take them to shelters. He'd haunt me to the ends of the earth anyway.
There are 100% shelters that let you take pets, there's also organisations that foster pets for people escaping abuse.
The statement about haunting you to the end of the earth is a giant red flag. You need to get away. He's dangerous.